Gary Leonard Oldman

Welcome Back lovely! I try to pop in every now and then and check on Mini Gary. Poor thing was almost out of Marmite and butter for his toast. ;-) The deeper I dig the more it seems to make sense...if that makes sense? There are a few groups I joined ( I'll gladly invite you if you'd like!) and they've helped me see my chart as a whole kind of like a relay system with each degree. But I completely understand how the moon could be the biggest one to identify with. It's the Mother planet after all, but I'll post a link for a site that gives the planetary and elemental percents too. Those are a huge help in understanding. My ruling planet is actually Pluto and my Element is a whole crap ton of Earth.

https://www.astro-seek.com

Happy '22 in the Second Home! <3

I've been doing some digging into my astrological chart. Thank god I never got that star chart tattoo done! I'm a virgo with a gemini rising. That explains so much but anyways here's a link!

https://www.astrosofa.com/astrology/zodiac

A/N: I honestly have no idea where I was going with this. I started it while sick and have just now finished it, than again perhaps I haven't. It's weird and disjointed but I had to post it. Enjoy! Wholeheartedly recommend putting on Heart's These Dreams for this one. ;-)








The soft pelting of rain as it hit the glass of the cafe window brought her out of her thoughts. She day dreamed in sepia tones as thoughts of honeysuckle and jasmine filled her senses.

“God all it ever does here is rain.”

She muttered to herself as she cleared the second table of the day, brushing crumbs into a pile and sweeping them off with a bleach soaked cloth.
She had left sweet familiar warmth and the sun for sharp clean notes of bleach and salt kissed winds as the bitter sweetness of a dark roast wrapped itself a deep lush note of cherry and apricot. A pounding noise dripping with musky angst and tanging with metal and a primal musk of heavy drum beats and pounding bass lines.

“Are you going back home then? Just to see if it’s changed?”

The concerned voice of her best friend pulled at her heart. Surveying the clothes she had the maid set out of her to pack and heaving a sigh. She had reached a cross roads. Stay and bury her head in the sand until the ancient danger she had left behind was right up to her face or go and confront it once nd for all and kill it at it’s source.

“Yeah, I’m actually packing. I’ll call you when I land.”

“There’s no way I’m letting you go alone! I’m meeting you at the airport.”

“You don’t have to, Hel. Dave’s going to.”

“Three are stronger than one, eh? Love you and see you there.”

That was an hour ago before Colleen found herself sandwiched between a a rapidly panicking Helene as they hit pockets of turbulence and a husband that was determined to dig up any sort of missed clue in how to defeat the ancient evil Colleen thought she had left behind her so many years ago.

“It sounds like this might be what it is. A Dream walker, feeds on your deepest darkest fears and bad memories. Yours must have been fed daily.”

“Thanks Dave. Way to make a girl feel special.”

But it was true. Her monstrous black void in her life had been fed endlessly most days. Then When Minnie had gotten sick and then Dad and the day her mother died. She had long ago been convinced that the house had been constructed on soured ground. The dreams she remembered being plagued with as a child and feeling the things out in the front yard there was no way something wasn’t attached.
A few years ago she thought that maybe her time in therapy had helped her until she dredged up something from the very depths of her mind. The musky smell of summer’s meadow soap.  It had been incredibly cheap soap but it was on sale and they were stuck grocery shopping. Colleen remembered liking the smell as first until red itchy welts came. It felt like her skin was on fire. Then the bruises and the yelling. There wasn’t anything else to bathe with so she’d just have to make due.

“Hey, Colly. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

In an instant she blinked and she was back on the plane headed towards the childhood home she had left so long ago.

“You were a million miles away, babe. It’s okay.”

Settling into his shoulder and reaching out for her best friend’s hand she sighed. She felt safe. A tiny wave of dread hit her for a moment. What if this was the last time she felt like this?

“Thank you. Thank you both for this, for always being here.”

In the time it had taken her to blink once more she had fallen under the calm of sleep once more. Down the rabbit hole Colleen ventured one again.

Somewhere over Chicago the music shifted. Pop had taken over and the waving undercurrent of darkness was lifting. It was easily forgotten in a town flooded with Laura Ashley florals and Jos. A Banks suits and tweed sweater vests. Ivy League fever was at it’s highest point yet. This was where she wanted to get lost. Live the perfect lie. For a moment she caught a glimpse of a wedding to a chiseled jawed bespectacled day trader who was writing a novel. A cute little starter home and then the urge to have a baby.

The quiet bliss of a family of my own.

Raised differently in comfort and love. Then she caught a glimpse of another woman; a blonde she could never  truly compete with. Then she saw his best friend over her,, the man who had lived next door to them for years and whose wife was sleeping with her husband. It had started off innocently one day, he had spotted her in the store picking up the weekly shopping when her little bundle of joy now two months old has screamed her head off. He had seen her struggling and often wondered why Jim hadn’t stepped in to help, it took two after all. Not that he would ever truly know because Evelyn was convinced that their infertility as a couple came from him. It didn’t.  The reason he knew this was because he was staring at the end result of a coupling that had taken place in the throws of summer. The child was happily babbling to herself and playing with the necklace that hung from her moth’s slender tanned neck.

“Look like you’re out and about today with company.”

“Oh. Yes, she’s proving to be lovely company while Jim’s away in…Japan I think?”

“Oh. China maybe.”
He volunteered as she placed her purchases up the belt and reached for her credit card.
Alex covered for his two timing friend, the only vaguely asian about his weekend was the apartment he was renting secretly over in china town.

“Could be, he’s been traveling so much I just can’t keep track. I was just making some dinner, would you like to join me? It must get awfully lonely over there all by yourself.”

“IT does but you know how it is.”

“I do. So join me, I’ve got that wine you like.”

Two bottles of wine and one very rich dinner later and they were sprawled out in front of the fire pit and gazing at the stars. Ashley had been tucked up away in the nursery and was dreaming nothing but sweet dreams.

“You know this is nice. Jim never does this anymore. It’s never just the two of us though.”

It dawned on him that maybe she was as lonely as he was. True, Colleen and Jim were married and they’d had a child but it was always like they were living by some sort of contract. Jim’s book was going nowhere while Alex had found a living breathing muse in his next door neighbor. A well placed kiss and a touch so gentle it left both of them wanting. Neither thought of the repercussions of their actions as they fell back into the expensive bedlinen.

Over the course of the next few weeks the evidence of their night together began to make itself known. Their spouses were facing much of the same situation and thus began the great charade. More than a few heated arguments were to be had behind closed doors of course ) about the children’s puaretntiy. Truths were told and it was settled, they would officially switch. It wasn’t unheard of this sort of thing happening especially with early ,machine arranged marriages.
And they all lived happily ever after.

“Colleen!”

Another blink and she found herself somewhere else. The high dry heat of California hit her.

“Oh god, I’m back in high school!”

Judging from the stack of books she was clutching the feel of poorly chosen foundation against her skin.

“Are you going to Jason Halliday’s party tonight?”

“Uh…yeah.”

Was I? If my mother found out she’d seriously flip. Maybe I could pay Mikey to watch Rose.

Phase one had gone off without a hitch as she  had what seemed to be an endless amount of favors from from her older brother. Now she just had to figure out what to wear. A shower and a close examination found the I’d have to wear a pear of jeans and a tank top. Maybe a pair of sandals and a denim jacket.

There. Done. And out the window I go.

The one nice thing was what our house’s pretty line was directly behind the housing estate Helene lived in so we would meet up at her house and get ready and take her car out.

“Are you nervous?”

“What? Why would I be nervous?”

“Oooh…I dn’t know maybe because a little birdie told me that Jason’s gonna ask you out.”

I highly doubt that. Move your bang to the right a little.”

“Thanks and you don’t know.  I think he’s going to .”

“Ten bucks and you’re on.”

The drive up to the Halliday house was a long one clear across town it seemed. Standing there for a moment the burn of pot smoke stinging her eyes.

“Hey, Matty put that out. Colleen you came.”

“Yeah, Surprise. Thanks for the invite.”

“No problem.”

Then Jim had shown up and ruined his chance with the girl of his dreams.

“Maybe we could start over, Jason.”


“Sorry. Just taking the paths not yet taken.”

“I hope they’re not better than I am.”

“Nothing could be as good as you are for me.”

“Do you promise me?”

Opening her eyes she felt the movement of air. She was back in suburban affair with the next door neighbor.  How many dreams was she going to have in one flight? She wondered and then shook off the absurdity of the thought.

“Cross my heart and hope to die I do.”

What if Jim had never been made partner so quickly or if he had taken the offer his uncle had given him. Their life would have been complete worlds away from where Colleen found herself these days.

“Oh god she’s back on the relaxers.”

“No, I’m not. I’m thinking, something you should try sometimes.”

Ornate decor and no children. Ah, if they had taken Peter’s grandfather’s offer. Living in New York and summering in the Hamptons.

“You’re looking quite lonely.”

“Perhaps if my the man I married wasn’t off cavorting with the local ladies of the evening I wouldn’t have to look this way.”

He said nothing to her, merely staring her down before looking past her out the window of the tiny seaside town they were now summering in. This had once been her hometown and she often wondered what would have happened if she had stayed.  Pulling up the long expanse of paved driveway she sighed to herself as the car came to a stop.

“I’ll be by the pool. Off to your travels or wherever it is that you’re going.”

Her reward was a curt nod from the husband she barely knew. He mentioned having to back to New York to finish something and then it was on to Singapore.  She now paid no attention to his trip itinerary, it simply wasn’t worth it. Wandering the large front foyer she greeted a few of the staff with a small smile.

“Mrs. Ellingham, lovely to see you again.”
“Hello, Winnie. Please, call me Colleen. I think I’ll be staying through the holidays so you and I will be seeing quite a bit of each other.”

A small if be it slightly alarmed smile settled across the maid’s features before she showed the woman paying her wages to the largest bedroom in the house. A room to behold if ever there was one. White marble and ornate silver and green decor could be seen. A lavish sunken tub with more jets than was seemingly possible was at the center of the room situated just below the circular skylight and flanked by rounded marble pillars. The powder room with it’s lush spring green colors was hidden off to the left and to the right there were full length mirrors refracting the view from the back garden and the pool area. The scent of summer roses and jasmine floated in the wind. A quick change of clothes and Colleen saw herself overseeing the grounds before settling in on a lounger by the pool. Crystal blue water glinted back at her as she basked in the warmth of the sun.

“Maybe this was how it was supposed to be?”

She quieted quietly to herself before the sun was blocked out by the form of a man and the smell of Marlboro smoke.

“Who says it has to be any other way than how you yourself imagines it?”

Opening her eyes she saw the familiar form of a man she had known years ago and smiled.

“How open minded of you, Mr. Halliday. What are you doing kicking around these parts?”

Given his dressed down state versus how Colleen had seen him a few years ago a brokers luncheon Jason was on vacation.

“Well, just settled into the place down the road from here and came by to see how the new owners of Thorncrest were doing.”

“Owner and you’re speaking to her. Lovely thanks.”

“Ooh, finally took your Ivy Leaguer to the cleaners huh?”

A small smirk played at her lips as she sat up and went about offering a glass of chilled lemonade to her impromptu guest.

“Well, lets just say that after the summer season’s done you’re going to be seeing quite a bit more of me around here and with quite a bit more money than I care to know what to do with.”

“He just doesn’t know it yet?”

“He will after he’s properly served. So….does the Quincepoint place have a lady of the house or are you still trying girls on for size?”

A quick exhale of smoke through a grinning face answered for him. He always smirked like that when he was nervous.

“Nobody since you.”

“Well, that’s good then because it’ll save your closet space with my things here. If you’re good I may even give you a dresser drawer of your very own.”

“Man a guy can dream can’t he?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve dreamt of seeing you back here in this house for years and now here you are. It’s almost too good to be true, isn’t?”


Another plume of smoke was exhaled and Colleen found herself startled awake once more. Totally unsure of where she was or exactly who she was at the moment she studied her left hand. No large gaudy wedding set dripping in gold and diamonds. Just a simple silver band that was enveloped by a hand that from the looks of it, was used to doing office work. Blonde floppy bangs shielded a bespectacled fair face of the husband she shared a name with. Reaching out to trace the fine features of the Romanesque nose and finely crafted cheekbones a small shuddered passed over her seat mate. The slight stubble of a five o’clock shadow pricked her gentle touches as he moved closer. His eyes would open in a moment but what color would his eyes be? So far she had seen him in every single dream she had had since starting work on that book of hers.

Blue. Like the summer sky and kind as she had ever hoped.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

A slow soft smile spread across his face as he rose from his slumber. It was always him that she wrote her male leads. He held a spark of something true and endless. Love and devotion were stamped upon him from the moment he had been thought of. Nicholas Shelley truly was the fitting piece to the puzzle that was her life.

“Still feeling weird?”

“No, not really. I think I was just over tired…didn’t mean to worry you, Nick.”

“I figured that on my own when I put your carry on in the overhead and you were out like a light. Helene sends her love and says she’ll be meeting us at the lake house when he land. Something with Joey’s touring schedule or manager to work out.”

“Oh, okay then.”

Something grabbed at her heart as panic started to rise.

“You do know just how much I love you…right?”

Fair brows shot towards his hairline behind the curtain of bangs.

“Of course, I do. Do you know how much I love you?”

“Yes. I’m…I’m sorry it’s just the deadlines and the rewrites and god I’m tired. I just didn’t think I was saying it enough or loud enough for you to hear me. I’m sorry I’ve been off in my own little world.”

‘It’s okay, I get the same way. It’s the nice think about being married to another writer, we know each other’s moods better than our own.”

Reaching a hand up he guided her head back towards his shoulder and she settled for a moment. Clean linen and woody sea was the comforting smell she always took from him. It righted her and her heart slowed back into a normal rhythm.  He carded his fingers through her long dark hair once more as he always did when she panicked and they had a moment together.

“Never doubt my love for you because it is deeper than the ocean, stronger than steel, and even more endless than the night sky.”

She never doubted his words were true because she felt them. There, in her very heart his words and declarations were written and they would forever be safe.

“I love you, too. More than you’ll ever know.”

No matter how many dreams she had or books she had written she knew that her true love's kiss would always be the most beautiful of all. His love for her as complete as hers was to him. They were simply crafted for each other.

I am so very sorry this has taken me so long to respond to! I've been pretty unwell over the last few weeks as you know, but I do recall I said I'd read this piece already and would be responding as soon as possible, so I feel extremely guilty that this is such a late review! Initially, I got a little bit of ' emotional whiplash ' reading it for the first time and again just now, I got the same, aha. It reminds me vaguely of the handful of times my brother got a little too violent. Most recent being last summer, where he pushed me so hard into the bathroom door as I moved by him that my head bounced off of it and I saw stars, so that was a little wake up call for me. Reading this actually put it into perspective a little more because thus far I'm bowing to the fact that my mum and brother both just keep trying to keep me quiet about it and that it's ' been too long now to tell anyone ' and ' it wasn't that bad ' as they like to say about most of those incidents. You've actually described things incredibly well, lots of vivid detail and it has produced an even deeper loathing of Frank Flannery which I never thought was possible, but this piece has definitely achieved that! Helene is livid with the man, as is Harvey and of course, Joseph. I feel like at some point I would try to pen a drabble in which Frank and Joseph meet, perhaps a time after Colleen had been beaten by him and Frank had stormed out of the house in a huff to go drink in a local bar; I'd have Joseph pop over just for a visit but he finds her in such a state. I really love what you've done with this one and I hope she never has to deal with Flannery again, ever, he is a vile human being.

A/N: This may well be the last time I ever write about Frank Flannery. Colleen is absolutely terrified of him and I'm currently trying to find another ( non abusive ) ex in which she separated from. I feel very very guilty about putting Colleen through so many beatings at Frank's hand over the years that I've decided to let her chart her own course with the next ex. I'd like to think that Terry Noonan gets rid of him or he ends up being killed in prison for some thing or another. ( either by his fellow prisoners or the guards. I'm honestly not picky when it comes to Frank meeting an end. ) In this one I've made our dear Col a New Jersey girl.


There were many things in her life that Colleen Murphy had grown accustomed to that she knew no other sane woman would ever put up with. The first had been being called nearly every name in the book before noon. Today he had settled on simply calling her the idiot. In their three years together he had called her much worse. The second was the familiar smash of furniture and other assorted possessions ( always hers ) being broken around the apartment they called home. Which really wasn't a home if you never had visitors or other signs of life around the place. It was just her and Frank and Frank's flunkies on occasion to go over business. When had she last seen Frank's brother Jackie? Ages it seemed. He had always made her laugh. She tried to remember when it was the last time she saw her best friend Helene, or her mother or Terry Noonan let alone went shopping instead of having everything delivered. To say she had checked out and was now trying to come up with an excuse for Frank was an understatement, she was on autopilot at the moment and didn't even notice the moment he had grabbed her. All she knew was that her scalp felt like it was on fire and he had wrenched her shoulder out of place again. At least she didn't scream this time. Something told her that if she had Frank would have strangled her.

'How the hell am I supposed to fix this? What's the point of worrying over it now?'

Was all she thought to herself as her face met stark white wall with a sickening crunch that reverberated in her skull.

“Where's the smart mouth on you now, huh Colleen?”

“Frank...please.”

She sounded pathetic even to her own ears. Deep down there was no one else to blame for his behavior. Frank had anger issues, she'd known this, but she never once thought in the time they had dated all the way up to their vows that he would ever hurt her. Until he did. She had covered the bruises and black eyes all while trying to block out the names he had called her just six months after they'd moved in together. Now the only time he actually took the time to speak to her was when Colleen did something to irritate him, that was becoming a near daily occurrence. She had made her bed and now she was paying the price. If she had just watched her tone like he'd told her to she wouldn't be in this much pain, there wouldn't be a slash of crimson across the wall and she would be able to move her arm. Time ceased to matter as the blows came one after another. She could still hear his voice but it was just background noise against the pain.

He'll get tired eventually...he always does.

 All she heard was the thundering of her own heart before the front door seemed to cave in on itself.  Perhaps she'd hit her head harder than she'd thought she did and this was just some sort of concussion hallucination? The rumble of voices shouting orders to step away from her filtered through. It was almost like time itself stopped as he let her go. She watched as he was tackled and planted roughly onto the hardwood floor. Spots formed in front of her eyes as her head lolled for a moment. Something shook her, either that or she had the shakes again from the shock of having a dislocated shoulder and the start of a concussion. Radio chatter and static lulled her for a moment.

“Hey...hey...can you tell me your name?”

Blinking slowly at the voice somewhere above her as she groaned and tried to sit up. Peering up with one good tired green eye she saw something that caught the light. Her left eye had swelled shut at the this point and she wouldn't be surprised if Frank had broken her cheekbone this time. A badge and a nameplate. Mahoney. He sounded like he was a local boy. Maybe if the world were a different place she'd have met a guy like him.

“Colleen Murphy.”

God it sounds like I've got a mouth full of marbles or something. Am I mumbling?

Mahoney's eyes were blue but not the icy shade Frank's were. No, they were like the same warm blue shade that reminded her of days spent at the beach watching the sunset over the Jersey shore with her best friend before the stars came out. Speaking of stars they flooded her vision again as a chill swept over her. She shuddered again as she felt her eyes roll back.

“Hey Colleen...Colleen. Calm down. Hold on...”

The voice itself was smoke burnished and gruff but the words were meant to reassure her and keep her semi conscious until EMS arrived. She felt a hand on her good cheek, well, the one that sported less of a bruise. It gently moved the hair that had fallen in front of her eyes. With her good eye she noticed that Mahoney's eyes had welled up with un-shed tears. Cops weren't supposed to cry on the job...were they? She reached out took the hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze almost to calm the man before her that surely had seen sights worse than herself.

Frank must have done a bang up job this time if he's got a cop tearing up. How bad could I possibly look? God..I'm so tired. I should've gone back to Jersey like Ma told me to.

She slipped in and out of consciousness to the steady sound of radio chatter and medical jargon all the while holding the hand of a man that had most likely saved her from a fate worse than death. Blinking heavily one last time she looked past the EMT's shoulder and straight into Mahoney's eyes as he stood back.

“Thank you.”

She would have smiled at him if her lip hadn't been split and her jaw partially dislocated. Her voice held a rasp that made her words barely register to his ears and it was only then when he looked at the slender column of her throat did he see two large hand shaped bruises on either side.




“You okay there, Mahoney?”

Turning towards the hulking form of his partner he blinked slowly almost dazed.  Her neck was too damn small to bear that type of mark. She was too delicate, like a china doll.

“Yeah...'m good Kowalski.”

He felt a wetness on his uniform front and glanced downwards. Tear stains. He had held a woman beaten so badly all she could do was cry and gasp between slipping into unconsciousness. Her eyes were deep spring green, he'd always remember them no matter how long he lived. She had touched his face ever gently as if to console him. She was the one that looked like she had gone ten rounds in the ring and she still found it in herself to make sure he was okay. But those eyes. They should have had a feral look to them instead they were calm. A tired broken sort of calm he'd never seen before and all he had done was hold her gently and tried to keep her conscious for EMTs.

“No, you're not, Joe. Every single one of us has a case that gets to us. This one's under your skin.”

“No, Walt. No it's not. I just I...”

“What? Got somethin' in your eye? Bull. I've known you for seven years, kid and you've never ever looked like this. Not even when there was that pile up on the beltway last Fourth. If we weren't due back to the station to type this one up I'd say go follow her just for your own sake but this one's going to be a long one, boyo. Seems like Francis Flannery has a rap sheet ten miles long and the divers just pulled a body out of the Hudson down by pier thirteen. Looks like the missing Flannery brother resurfaced along with another body. ME's still trying to sort out dental records. Could be that McGuire kid.”

An icy cold shiver ran down Joe's spine as he went to  follow  Walt out to the squad car. Something in his very gut told Joe that if they had been maybe just five minutes later Colleen Murphy would have been another casualty at the hands of a mad man.  Stopping for a moment he stood there chewing at his thumb nail for a moment. Joe wondered if perhaps he should give a Miss Murphy's emergency contact a heads up about which hospital she was due to arrive at. Spying a purse hanging off the nearby coat rack he found a small address book and dialed from the landline. He took careful note that from the looks of her address book and her work number Colleen was originally from Union City.

'Her mother only lives two streets over from Ma. Small world.'

"Hello, Ms. Starling? This is Officer Mahoney, you spoke with me Monday I believe. I just wanted to let you know that Colleen's going to Christ Hospital. Holland Tunnel's the fastest way to get there this time of day."