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Tips & Rants / Madness & Memories
« Last post by Maggie on March 14, 2019, 05:13:52 am »A/N: I've always wondered if Vampires retained memories of their human lives and have delved into it a bit in my own way. I don't entirely buy the whole 'their pasts are hazy after they're reborn' bit as it's said in some pieces of fiction. This might serve as a partial introduction to Colleen's Sweet William. I'll gladly introduce him later on.
Boredom was never ever good in what had become the Astwood household. Boredom and an unsettling quiet during the month’s first full moon were an even worse combination. Especially for someone as ruled by the moon and as sensitive as Colleen was. She was still young by Kindred standards ( if nearing her three hundredth birthday was considered young ) and the Madness that their kind went through after turning still affected her during the fullest moon phase. Her demeanor and accent changed her past memories coming back in waves and her heart was broken all over again. Cage swore that every year it would get better and for a bit it had until they had moved to the outskirts of Inverness. The sprawling estate had been up to auction for a steal and Cage, stupidly now that he thought about it, thought that this place would be the perfect place for them to settle for a bit.
“Dearest? Where're you gotten off to?”
Cage had nodded off in the drawing room amidst his newspapers when he had realized his beloved hadn't come in with his preferred dinner from the cellar. Perhaps she had trouble reaching one of the decanter racks again? Or she had fallen asleep upstairs in the library. He noticed the clocks in the vast sprawling house had stopped, even the cuckoo that had been made with the maker’s promise of it never needing winding but he had bought it nearly two hundred years ago perhaps it was finally time to get the inner workings restored.
“Colleen?”
Ducking into the larder and the vast kitchen where normally the one or two ghoulish servants were working away on something or another to keep up appearances should an unsuspecting mortal acquaintance pop in and he found no one. Not even warped Chisholm who left even him unsettled give his sheer size but Colleen saw him for what he was, a man with the mind of a child and kept her instructions to him as simple as she could. All remnants of hunger were overcome with the need to find her. His steadfast companion.
‘Where in the worlds could she have gone?’
For a moment he thought that surely she had left him. But no, he knew her better than that a woman such as his Colleen would never leave. Even after her Turning she had somehow held onto a bit of her original sweetness and a kindness. He heard movement just outside the solarium they seldom used unless it was a spectacularly stormy evening as she so loved the sound of the rain and to watch the trees on the acreage bend and whip to the will of the wind. The moon was bright and obscenely full hanging in the sky low and glowing as if to beckon his female companion.
“Uilleam far a bheil thu?”
He had always thought his companion had come from the northern part of Ireland but with each passing year he learned a new piece of the puzzle that was Colleen’s past. A part of her that she kept hidden away even to him. Stepping out into the cold night air he watched her in her madness as the memories took over. Her voice growing more and more frantic as she searched the edge of the forest line that was part of their land.
“William! It’s no’ funny now! It’s almost time for the wee one to be tucked into bed and there’s still work to be done with the fleece.”
Her accent had taken a deeper lusher tone than what Cage’s ear was used to. He noticed now that the hem of her thin dressing gown had become sodden with mud and moss stains as she clambered about trying to find the man named William. Colleen had known someone that had worked as a sheep shearer. He stepped towards her intending to steer her back towards the house.
“Perhaps I can help you find him?”
Her eyes, normally a sharp spring green had gone a deep mossy jade and clouded over with memories from her mortal life went large as she startled at Cage’s voice. She reminded him of a doe ready take off into the woodland after it had been startled. She slowly backed away into the shadows and shook slightly as he came closer. He had been just close enough to nearly touch her when she let out a scream that would have stopped his heart had it still had a beat. Her face went ashen as she took off into the brush screaming for the man named William arms outstretched blindly before her.
“Colleen wait!”
Clambering behind her as fast as his feet would take him he watched as the woman he had taken under his wing for nearly two hundred years ran from him like he was the devil himself. She stopped chest heaving with unnecessary exertion. Even her body had forgotten that it had no longer needed to breathe. She stood now in what looked to be an overgrown area. The remains of long abandoned cabin sat in the quiet forest the only true signs of what the place had been was the crumbling stone wall and lone hearth that looked as if it was about to topple over any second should either he or Colleen even dare to look at it the wrong way. He watched as she bent down and touched the back of the hearthstone. Upon closer inspection he noticed that it housed an engraving of a clan badge. A a cat with the motto. Touch not the catt bot a glove. A warning to those that dared harm the clan of Chattan. Where had he heard that motto before?
“Which clan was William part of, Colleen?”
“Clann MhicPhàil.”
MacPhail. Startled with realization Cage felt a twinge within his chest. How had he lived with her for the last three hundred years and never once thought to ask her of her life before him? She had been near death when he had found her lost in the woods and soaked through to the bone from the rain her feet cut so deeply he could almost see bone and her voice hoarse. How had he never thought to ask her where her husband was? He had spent the better part of the eighteen hundreds reading up on the battles that had taken place on the soil they traveled but he never once thought that Colleen had known someone that had fought in it.
“Where was William from?”
“Here. Inbhir Nis I begged him not to go but he did it anyway.”
“The night I found you where was he?”
Her head hung low for a moment as she reached out to touch the hearth once more.
“Dead.”
“Why were you running that night?”
"I had papers...coordinates for the rebellion that needed to get to Anne and Angus. Word traveled fast then and they had started to build the pyre because the gibbet was too good for me they said.”
He remembered her pounding at his door pleading with him for sanctuary. He didn't dare tell her when she had awoken on the other side that her babe had not lasted that first night. He had tried to warm it and put life back into it but he just couldn't. The little thing had suffocated as she had clutched it to her chest as she had run through the wood like a fox chased by hounds. She had clutched at his shirt and pleaded with him to get the papers to the Mackintosh clan. He had kept his word to her but the Jacobites had still lost.
Her eyes had cleared, hopefully the Madness had passed this go around.
“I lost everything...didn't I? My William and my child? Why did you save me, Cage?”
“Because you deserved to live.”
“That wasn't your choice, Cage. I can never ever see them again.”
“Perhaps one day you’ll find them again. It’s my experience that souls come around more than once, Colleen. You’ll know them when you see them.”
“Oh I hope so.”
“Would you leave me if you found them?”
“No. I’d introduce you and you would become part of our clan.”
“I quite like that idea.”
“So do I. I think you and William would get on quite well. You’re cut from the same roguish cloth.”
He smiled as he helped her up to her feet once more and took her hand gently. She never compared him to William but knowing they shared the same temperament warmed him for some reason. Perhaps if they had known one another under different circumstances they would have been fast friends and drinking companions.
“Tell me about him? What was he like?”
“Perhaps tomorrow. I smell rain coming.”
With a small smile he watched his steadfast companion took off running back the way she came. Turning back towards the hearth for a moment he studied it and smiled.
“I’ll continue to care for and love our girl until the very end of time, William. You can stake my honor to it. Until next time, friend.”
He ambled down the path as he watched Colleen’s long dark hair whip behind her as she ran.
Boredom was never ever good in what had become the Astwood household. Boredom and an unsettling quiet during the month’s first full moon were an even worse combination. Especially for someone as ruled by the moon and as sensitive as Colleen was. She was still young by Kindred standards ( if nearing her three hundredth birthday was considered young ) and the Madness that their kind went through after turning still affected her during the fullest moon phase. Her demeanor and accent changed her past memories coming back in waves and her heart was broken all over again. Cage swore that every year it would get better and for a bit it had until they had moved to the outskirts of Inverness. The sprawling estate had been up to auction for a steal and Cage, stupidly now that he thought about it, thought that this place would be the perfect place for them to settle for a bit.
“Dearest? Where're you gotten off to?”
Cage had nodded off in the drawing room amidst his newspapers when he had realized his beloved hadn't come in with his preferred dinner from the cellar. Perhaps she had trouble reaching one of the decanter racks again? Or she had fallen asleep upstairs in the library. He noticed the clocks in the vast sprawling house had stopped, even the cuckoo that had been made with the maker’s promise of it never needing winding but he had bought it nearly two hundred years ago perhaps it was finally time to get the inner workings restored.
“Colleen?”
Ducking into the larder and the vast kitchen where normally the one or two ghoulish servants were working away on something or another to keep up appearances should an unsuspecting mortal acquaintance pop in and he found no one. Not even warped Chisholm who left even him unsettled give his sheer size but Colleen saw him for what he was, a man with the mind of a child and kept her instructions to him as simple as she could. All remnants of hunger were overcome with the need to find her. His steadfast companion.
‘Where in the worlds could she have gone?’
For a moment he thought that surely she had left him. But no, he knew her better than that a woman such as his Colleen would never leave. Even after her Turning she had somehow held onto a bit of her original sweetness and a kindness. He heard movement just outside the solarium they seldom used unless it was a spectacularly stormy evening as she so loved the sound of the rain and to watch the trees on the acreage bend and whip to the will of the wind. The moon was bright and obscenely full hanging in the sky low and glowing as if to beckon his female companion.
“Uilleam far a bheil thu?”
He had always thought his companion had come from the northern part of Ireland but with each passing year he learned a new piece of the puzzle that was Colleen’s past. A part of her that she kept hidden away even to him. Stepping out into the cold night air he watched her in her madness as the memories took over. Her voice growing more and more frantic as she searched the edge of the forest line that was part of their land.
“William! It’s no’ funny now! It’s almost time for the wee one to be tucked into bed and there’s still work to be done with the fleece.”
Her accent had taken a deeper lusher tone than what Cage’s ear was used to. He noticed now that the hem of her thin dressing gown had become sodden with mud and moss stains as she clambered about trying to find the man named William. Colleen had known someone that had worked as a sheep shearer. He stepped towards her intending to steer her back towards the house.
“Perhaps I can help you find him?”
Her eyes, normally a sharp spring green had gone a deep mossy jade and clouded over with memories from her mortal life went large as she startled at Cage’s voice. She reminded him of a doe ready take off into the woodland after it had been startled. She slowly backed away into the shadows and shook slightly as he came closer. He had been just close enough to nearly touch her when she let out a scream that would have stopped his heart had it still had a beat. Her face went ashen as she took off into the brush screaming for the man named William arms outstretched blindly before her.
“Colleen wait!”
Clambering behind her as fast as his feet would take him he watched as the woman he had taken under his wing for nearly two hundred years ran from him like he was the devil himself. She stopped chest heaving with unnecessary exertion. Even her body had forgotten that it had no longer needed to breathe. She stood now in what looked to be an overgrown area. The remains of long abandoned cabin sat in the quiet forest the only true signs of what the place had been was the crumbling stone wall and lone hearth that looked as if it was about to topple over any second should either he or Colleen even dare to look at it the wrong way. He watched as she bent down and touched the back of the hearthstone. Upon closer inspection he noticed that it housed an engraving of a clan badge. A a cat with the motto. Touch not the catt bot a glove. A warning to those that dared harm the clan of Chattan. Where had he heard that motto before?
“Which clan was William part of, Colleen?”
“Clann MhicPhàil.”
MacPhail. Startled with realization Cage felt a twinge within his chest. How had he lived with her for the last three hundred years and never once thought to ask her of her life before him? She had been near death when he had found her lost in the woods and soaked through to the bone from the rain her feet cut so deeply he could almost see bone and her voice hoarse. How had he never thought to ask her where her husband was? He had spent the better part of the eighteen hundreds reading up on the battles that had taken place on the soil they traveled but he never once thought that Colleen had known someone that had fought in it.
“Where was William from?”
“Here. Inbhir Nis I begged him not to go but he did it anyway.”
“The night I found you where was he?”
Her head hung low for a moment as she reached out to touch the hearth once more.
“Dead.”
“Why were you running that night?”
"I had papers...coordinates for the rebellion that needed to get to Anne and Angus. Word traveled fast then and they had started to build the pyre because the gibbet was too good for me they said.”
He remembered her pounding at his door pleading with him for sanctuary. He didn't dare tell her when she had awoken on the other side that her babe had not lasted that first night. He had tried to warm it and put life back into it but he just couldn't. The little thing had suffocated as she had clutched it to her chest as she had run through the wood like a fox chased by hounds. She had clutched at his shirt and pleaded with him to get the papers to the Mackintosh clan. He had kept his word to her but the Jacobites had still lost.
Her eyes had cleared, hopefully the Madness had passed this go around.
“I lost everything...didn't I? My William and my child? Why did you save me, Cage?”
“Because you deserved to live.”
“That wasn't your choice, Cage. I can never ever see them again.”
“Perhaps one day you’ll find them again. It’s my experience that souls come around more than once, Colleen. You’ll know them when you see them.”
“Oh I hope so.”
“Would you leave me if you found them?”
“No. I’d introduce you and you would become part of our clan.”
“I quite like that idea.”
“So do I. I think you and William would get on quite well. You’re cut from the same roguish cloth.”
He smiled as he helped her up to her feet once more and took her hand gently. She never compared him to William but knowing they shared the same temperament warmed him for some reason. Perhaps if they had known one another under different circumstances they would have been fast friends and drinking companions.
“Tell me about him? What was he like?”
“Perhaps tomorrow. I smell rain coming.”
With a small smile he watched his steadfast companion took off running back the way she came. Turning back towards the hearth for a moment he studied it and smiled.
“I’ll continue to care for and love our girl until the very end of time, William. You can stake my honor to it. Until next time, friend.”
He ambled down the path as he watched Colleen’s long dark hair whip behind her as she ran.
I would give my eyeteeth to see kind of mother Hel's Mother would be. I mean I know you've mentioned her but I'd love to pick that lady's brain and get an inside view through your writing into what makes her tick. Oh anytime! Col adores Harvey like there's no tomorrow and would gladly move the stars themselves for him if he asked her to. She would do the same and more for Helene. God help anyone who messes with her sister. 
I'm so attached to Jimmy that it's always going to be him that I see as her old man, I think, but this is very interesting. I love how Eileen is very, very abrasive when told that her daughter will be moving back there and I love Col's response; how she pushes back against her mother to dig deep enough for all the answers as to why it's such an issue. I think Ronan's reactions following the tension between mother and daughter are comical.. feel like Joey would have found himself just as uncomfortable confronting Harvey. It makes me think about the kind of parent Hel's mother would be, too. I've never gotten the chance to write that but I think I may now - thank you for the nudge toward Harvey, too! Hel smiles from ear to ear everytime her father is mentioned where it concerns Col because she literally considers her a sister as a result, they girls are so close ❤
